Overcommitted and Overgiving? Here’s How You Get Your Energy Back
See if you can relate…
May hasn’t even started…and your calendar is already filling up?
You’ve said yes to more than a few things…
You’re trying to stay on top of everything.
You can feel that quiet pressure building.
This feels familiar like you’ve done this before?? You KNOW what it feels like.
Push through…Get it done…Take over…
Take care of everyone.
You show up.
You follow through.
And somewhere along the way…
You forget that your needs matter.
Once Upon a Time…
There was a version of me that couldn’t have peace unless she convinced you she was right.
It didn’t matter the topic.
It didn’t matter the relationship.
If something felt off… I armored up.
I told myself it was integrity.
That I was someone who stood for things.
But what I didn’t see was what it was costing me.
-Energy.
-Sleep.
-Peace.
The fun version of myself I actually wanted to be.
You don’t always like who shows up in the armor.
I was reactive.
I was wired.
I was exhausted—even when nothing was “wrong.”
Lying in bed replaying conversations.
Rehearsing what I should have said.
Carrying that low-grade tension all over my body, mind and spirit.
I wasn’t protecting anything.
The Shift (and It Wasn’t What I Thought)
It didn’t happen overnight.
It came from one honest question:
Why am I doing this?
Not for peace.
Not for connection.
Definitely not for my health.
I was doing it because some part of me believed
I couldn’t feel okay… until everything around me was okay.
Until people agreed.
Until things felt settled.
Until I had control.
Control=safety.
And that belief?
That was costing me everything.
So I stopped. Not with a dramatic declaration. Not with a difficult conversation.
Definitely NOT perfectly, but gradual.
Now when someone says something that I dont necessarily agree with, I pause.
Sometimes I say, “Okay.”
Sometimes I say, “Interesting.”
Not sarcastically-I actually mean it.
Because here’s what took me FOREVER to understand…
The boundary was never about them.
It was about me, and that part of me that always needed to win, to prove, to be right. The need for others to validate our own experience.
This Has EVERYTHING to Do With Your Health (Especially in Midlife)
It is about your nervous system.
Every time you override what your body is telling you—
whether it’s saying yes when you mean no,
or engaging when you need space, when you eat the thing you told yourself your body doesn’t need, when you ignore your daily walks because you don’t ‘feel’ like it…
your body registers that as stress.
And in midlife? That matters more than ever.
Because your system is already more sensitive to stress:
Cortisol lingers longer
Sleep is disrupted easier
Energy drops faster
Mood shifts feel sharper
So when you keep overgiving… over-engaging… over-explaining…
You stay in a constant low-grade stress response.
This Is Where Most Women Get It Wrong
You think boundaries are about MORE discipline.
About saying no more.
About “getting better” at it.
They’re not.
Boundaries are not negotiations, or attempts to control others' behavior, but rather personal actions to stop abandoning themselves. Boundaries are not cruel, or mean, but calm, self-disciplined, and necessary for self-advocacy. It’s self leadership.
Boundaries are built with having great body awareness.
Through the noticing:
tightness or heaviness in your chest when you overcommit
that rushed feeling when you are overscheduled
the subtle “ugh” before you say yes
the feeling of never having enough time, energy
That’s your nervous system talking.
And when you learn to listen to that?
Everything changes.
Why Yoga HELPS This (In a Way Discipline Never Will)
A simple yoga class isn’t about flexibility or poses.
It’s practice of noticing:
when to push
when to pause
when to stay
when to back off, when to move
It teaches you what enough feels like.
Not in your head…
but in your body.
Because the truth is:
You cannot set boundaries you cannot feel.
And once you start honoring what your body is telling you…
You don’t have to force boundaries.
You allow them because you are a better version of yourself with them.
Your May (An Invitation, Not a Demand)
If your May already feels full…if you are coming in already exhausted…
this isn’t about adding more.
It’s about getting super clear on what’s actually yours to carry.
And that clarity doesn’t come from thinking MORE.
It comes from awareness—
from feeling your body instead of overriding it.
It took me time to understand boundaries -that they are not conversations, negotiations, or attempts to control others' behavior, but rather personal actions to stop abandoning themselves.
Boundaries are not cruel, but calm, self-disciplined, and necessary for self-advocacy
So instead of asking, “What else can I do?”
start asking, “What is mine to do—and what isn’t?
Am I trying to control the situation or am I genuinely interested in helping?
Is this actually mine to handle—or am I hindering someone’s growth in something they need to experience for themselves? (especially useful with our kids and parents)
Did my body soften… or tighten when I said yes?
Will I feel resentment later if I agree to this now?
That’s the practice.
Join me in May at MHYOGA:
Every Tuesday (heated yoga) – 5:45 PM
Friday May 8th – 9:00 AM (subbing for Nicole)
Saturday the 9th – 9:00 AM
Not as another obligation.
But as a space to notice:
what your body is asking for
where you keep overriding your own needs just to ‘keep up’
what it feels like to lead yourself well
Because your health IS the greatest gift you can give the people closest to you.
OOOoooohOne Last Thing…
Real boundaries don’t punish other people.
They support you. (there’s a difference)
They help you show up:
calmer
clearer
more present
more honest. MORE loving, caring…
And the right relationships?
They won’t fall apart when you start honoring yourself.
They’ll feel stronger.
Still not ready for public classes?
I do have limited offerings for my 6-week Yoga & Beyond series is for the woman who knows something needs to shift…
but doesn’t want to pile on more pressure to get there.
Individual classes structured to meet you where you are. A space to actually learn your body, your breath, and your patterns—without feeling behind.
Ready to go deeper?
My 1:1 coaching looks at your whole life—physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and relational—
and helps you create what actually works in your life.
So it starts to feel like you’re winning your days…
instead of feeling overwhelmed, overscheduled, stressed out, and quietly resentful that everyone else gets your best while you keep giving yourself leftovers.
Book your discovery call here.
Yoga in the Garden is BACK-sign up now! THIS WILL BE A BEGINNER Foundational 6-week series.
EARLY BIRD SPECIAL Register by June 20th $120 for all 6 sessions; After June 20, price increases to $140
Week 1: Breathwork, short meditation, and gentle floor stretches to establish a calm foundation.
Week 2: Add supported seated postures with blocks to build mobility and confidence.
Week 3: Introduce beginner standing poses to develop strength and stability.
Week 4: Incorporate simple balance work to improve coordination and body awareness.
Week 5: Explore accessible inversions to support circulation and expand comfort zones.
Week 6: Integrate everything into a steady, beginner-friendly flow that ties it all together.
PLUS email support throughout the 6 weeks. Videos, meditations, breath work, meal plans, and get my 1 hr 'Build a better year of health' where you can learn to lead yourself well, understand stress and break health down where it feels doable, not like your doing it wrong. This 6 weeks is designed to help you get back to center.
Learni to have a reset without ever leaving town. and you can make it whatever you need. ❤️🩹
More information HERE.
Val
