What’s Actually Holding You Back? (It’s Not What You Think)
Ever feel like you’re doing ALL the right things—and still not getting anywhere? 🫤
That was me in my business—I was scared to put myself out there because someone might not like me. Underneath was fear, guilt, and embarrassment that made me feel like a fraud. And the more I ignored those emotions, the louder they got.
What changed everything was learning to notice them instead of letting them run the show. When you have protocols in place—when you’ve already pre-decided what you’re going to do—it takes the drama out of it. That’s how I finally got consistent. I had to stop focusing on what people might think and decide what I wanted my business to look like, so I knew exactly what goals to hit.
And this is the same thing I see with women and their health. The longer you ignore the uncomfortable feelings, the bigger they get. But once you start noticing them—and have a plan for what to do next—you stop spinning and start moving forward.
When You’re Too Close to See It
There’s a reason it feels impossible to spot our own blind spots.
Psychologists call it the “introspection illusion.” We think we know ourselves best, but research shows we’re actually wired to overlook our own flaws and over-focus on what’s happening outside of us..
It’s a survival thing—your brain is constantly scanning the environment for threats, responsibilities, or people who need you. That’s why it’s so easy to say, “I’d make a change if my kids (my parents, my pets) didn’t need me so much,” or “Once work slows down, then I’ll focus on me.”
Blaming circumstances feels safer than looking inward. You can even Blame it on the higher cortisol that is pumping through your body right now during midlife.
BUT…Here’s the empowering part: once you understand that your brain is literally designed to protect you from discomfort, you can stop beating yourself up. It’s not that you’re lazy or weak. It’s that you’re wonderfully human. (wouldn’t that have been nice to know in jr. high??)
And this is exactly why having a coach (or anyone outside of your own head) matters—because they can see what you can’t. Thought like They sound responsible, even noble. Self-sacrificing your health for others, while sometimes seen as virtuous. But really? It actually leads to chronic health issues, emotional exhaustion, and burnout.
Running a Business = Running Your Health
Here’s the connection I had to make: running a business is a lot like running your health.
If you have never built a business or built your health…it’s hard to know where to start.
You can’t just ‘wing it’ and hope things balance themselves out.
You can’t let fear keep you from taking action.
And you definitely can’t grow by doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.
For years, I chased “perfect health.” I bought all the powders, pills and potions, tried all the instagram hacks, signed up for the 2 week programs. But I was exhausted, burned out, and wondering if this was just my new normal.
And just like my business, nothing really changed until I decided to change and ASK for the help I needed.
AND YES! OF COURSE you can do it by yourself…
BUT (and those big Buts can be tricky)
When you try to figure out your health on your own, a few things almost always happen. Its WAY too easy to get stuck in extremes—swinging between strict discipline and giving up completely. Then, when progress feels too slow, it’s easy to get frustrated and tell yourself you’re failing. Add to that the thought, “now isn’t the right time,” and suddenly weeks or months slip by without real change. And eventually, willpower runs out. Doing it all alone almost always leads to burnout, and you find yourself starting over again and again.
The truth is, there’s never going to be a “perfect” time. The best time to start is right in the middle of the chaos—because that’s the life you’re actually building your health for.
It’s not about another quick fix. It’s not about someone handing you the “perfect plan.” It’s about finally getting support that helps you rewrite the story you’ve been living on repeat.
Your Invitation (Before Sept 1)
What do you think? You ready? I know you have a TON of reasons why you dont have time and it won’t work But maybe it’s time to step into something new. Hope to see you soon!
Right now, I’m offering a special group coaching series—4 sessions for just $200 if you sign up before September 1.
This is for the woman who is tired of spinning, tired of carrying the same beliefs that keep her stuck, and ready to finally get real support.
But don’t wait—the discount ends soon.
✨ Click here to save your spot and let’s do this together. (You will have to download the mind body app, if you have trouble call the studio at 334-790-6558
See you soon!
Val
